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Wondering if it's the right time to have sex? Learn to read the signs and make the right choice
Sometimes it feels like everyone is having sex all the time. People are talking about it, so they must be doing it, right? Not really. Only one in four people lose their virginity before the age of 16, so if someone’s boasting about having sex, it’s possible that they’re just lying about it. If you're thinking about losing your virginity, here are some tips to bear in mind.
Read the signs
A lot of girls are surprised when a situation with a guy suddenly leads to sex. Learn to read the signs. If he suggests you find a quiet place, gets a bit more touchy-feely or suddenly turns on the sweet talk and flattery, then he might be thinking about sex, even if you’re not. Remember, you need to make up your mind whether you want to have sex. Don’t let him decide for you by just going along with it. Make the decision in advance and stay in control of the situation. If you’re feeling unsure, don’t go to a quiet place alone with him.
Talk about it
It’s better to have an embarrassing talk about sex than an embarrassing sexual encounter when you’re not ready.
Alcohol won’t help
Many people lose their virginity when they’re drunk. After a couple of drinks, you're more likely to lose your judgement about how you want to behave, and to do things you wouldn't do normally. But your actions will come back to you in the morning when you're sober, and you can’t undo what you’ve done. People are also more likely to have sex without a condom when they're drunk and that can lead to you getting a sexually transmitted infection or unintended pregnancy.
Does less sex = better relationships?
On the Channel 4 programme 'No Sex Please, We’re Teenagers', girls said that once they decided not to have sex, they were able to talk to guys more easily as sex was off the agenda. If you make it clear that you’re not about to have sex, you may find boys (and girls) respect you more.
It’s your choice
Remember that at any point you can make a choice. Ask yourself if you really believe his sweet talk. Then work out how you want to respond, and decide how far to go. Ask yourself if you feel comfortable. Is it the right time, in the right place, and with the right person? These are all big decisions, which is another reason why it’s hard to stay in control if you’re drunk. You should never feel under any pressure to have sex – whether it’s from your partner or your friends. It’s an important decision and you need to feel ready.
REMEMBER: IT'S ILLEGAL TO HAVE SEX IF YOU'RE UNDER 16
Find out more about sex
- Go to www.ruthinking.co.uk for the A-Z of sex (links to external site)
- Go to www.mindbodysoul.gov.uk to find out if everybody else really is doing it (links to external site)
Source: NHS Choices (external site)
